Impressionable nerves

While I wasn't sitting and typing when I should have, I read several books the past month. and believe it or not, it's always been one of my favorite hobbies and yet I don't spend time reading books now that I'm in university, because once I start one, I don't want to put it down until I can't keep my eyes open anymore.... You can see how that is incompatible with school work : the addiction's too strong... I simply can't think about something else in my spare time but to go on reading.

So, I've read my first piece of "chick-litt" last month (yeah, I learnt a new term!^^), the first book of the "Shopaholic" series - which promised to be extremely funny or annoying considering the theme - and during the first quarter of it, the novel made me laugh quite a lot, but as the heroine beat her record of craziness and the tension (yes, the tension!) grew higher and higher, I found myself very much tensed up : she was really in deep shit like we say, and I felt too stressed out on her behalf.

The first book : "Confessions of a Shopaholic"

Not that I identify myself to her to this point, like we could think it upon seeing my reaction, but seeing the heroine putting herself in so much trouble and still trying to turn blind eyes on the matter one second, and panic over it the next one, I grew unnerved.. very much unnerved, and I ended up not being able to fall asleep : I really am too shakeable -__-;

Thinking back, I even sometimes can't sleep because a friend confided her troubles to me, and thinking about them, and worrying over her, sleep is driven away for at least a night while the said friend was, it happened a couple a times, not at all troubled anymore about the matter the very next day and forgot about it as fast as she was long in complaining about it. Making me feel that I'm a stupid girl for worrying over her....for nothing? *sigh*

最高の片想い。。。

.

いつもすごく自由なあなたは今
You.... Always so full of freedom
Toi qui respires toujours la liberté,
この雨の中どんな夢を追いかけているの
What kind of dream are you now chasing after amidst this rain?
Quel rêve poursuis-tu donc à présent sous cette pluie?
どこかで孤独と戦いながら
Somewhere, you're fighting your loneliness
En combattant cette solitude bien cachée
涙も我慢してんだろう
And your tears are also being held on
Tu retiens jusqu'à tes larmes


一人でも大丈夫とあなたも私も同じ
Saying you're fine by yourself, you're just like myself,
Toi comme moi, nous disons être heureux seuls
遠回りばかりだけど　なぜかこの道が好きで
We may stray on detours but, somehow this path is the one we like
Et bien que nous fassions parfois des détours, cette voie nous convient


幸せだとか嬉しい時は
Because through joy and happy times
Moments de bonheur ou simple joie,
あなたの事を思い出すから
I still think of you then
Parceque tout me fait penser à toi
色鮮やかな季節はきっと
The colorful seasons will surely
Les saisons passent riches en couleurs
この思い届けてくれる
Convey these feelings to you...
Et surement,
Elles m'aideront à te faire parvenir mes sentiments

** This song **
I had this song for a while, and though I liked it somehow, I didn't pay attention to the lyrics and just listened to the melody of the piece, and the melody of the words... Then yesterday, I randomly picked up an old playlist and this one came up : "saikou no kataomoi", which can be translated as "the best unrequited love", by Tainaka Sachi. I was struck by both the melody, the air it bears and the words of the song. They are a lot like what I have in mind concerning the feelings of my heroine, her way of seeing her unrequited love *well, only at some point mind you, these things are fortunately bound to evolve*.
This is only the first verse and the chorus. This alone drawn me into the song's world, and already fit my idea of a way to live this unrequited love", so I only put the first half of the song here.

** My translation **
So yes, I could say they touched me, and I attempted to translate them for anybody who might stumble here, but I don't think my translation bears the beauty of the original japanese words. A language holds its peculiar view and conception on every complicated and simple thing, so as translators we constantly fight between sticking to the given sense, and writing what we feel the original words aim at, and choosing which words in the language of transposition would match those conceptions or feelings. Choosing to transpose what you felt was the closest meaning of the original, can end up in your work having a -seemingly- different meaning, literally speaking, than the original word that one was to be put in an online translator.... and the source of long, tiring discussions. Translating can be both very interesting, passioning, and a very torturing process.

Link : the lyrics from the CD's booklet

.

Just dropping thoughts

I've never really had a sense for poetry, even if I like reading some from time to time. seated in a Starbucks Coffee, I had these old feelings resurfacing that I wanted to put into words once again, and it came in the form of a poem, but since I have absolutely no clue on how to write a good poem, and since I had the beat of a song I like in mind making me choose the rhythm of the words, let's say that this is not a poem but a possible song's lyrics ^__~

As an indication, the rhythm I had in mind was from the "Who's gonna stop it?", by Olivia Lufkin. re-reading it, I can see the succession of thoughts and development is a real mess, I'll try to arrange this later... I just wanted to keep this bit safely somewhere, to not forget it ^^

**********

Where are you ?

Even now I can't help Thinking of you
Reminding our days together

I might not think of you as I used to
But my feelings remain strong and true
Other lovers, another life
Keep us apart and afar
Now new thoughts bind me to you
Just as tightly as before
Just like back then
As real, strong and true

My mind's clear now and I can see better
That we were both, young and fragile,
Equally needing
And how we are now, happy yet unfulfilled
Longing for this, which we forever miss

I always felt as a captive,
Imprisoned in a sweet cage,
A dear bittersweet prison
From which I nonetheless wanted to be set free of

I often thought I wished to be rid of You,
Rid of my affection for You,
Of this everlasting addiction
Freed from these buzzing thoughts
That were Numbing me as I pictured You

Now I know I don't wish to forget anything about Us
Nor will I ever forsake these days alongside You again

Innocently,
You've been a part of me
Unconsciously,
You helped me grow into this Me
Unwantingly,
As you rejected me,
You pushed me toward my present self,

Keeping me away from your everyday,
Your thoughts, your mind...
Casting me aside me like an outsider
Watching you from a distance like an unwanted visitor
You forced on me this painful gift

Was I indeed that far from you?

Now i have no idea
Of how far I am standing from You?

Did you really forget? or do you still regret?
I had stopped doubting
I've found a love for myself
You were my stepping stone and I'm grateful to you
But can't we start anew?
Can't we go back the other way?

Can my voice still reach You?
Can my heart still touch you?
Is your mind still willing to shut me out there?
Leaving me begging for you in the cold

Won't you listen to this song?
Would you rather go on with this ling-a-long
You've been humming to yourself for comfort?
Hammering it to my face, slapping me to the ground
Keeping me in a corner,
In the shadows of your heart

We can still love each other
Will you let me taunt You?
Will you let me sit close to You?
There is still a place for this love

Our feelings were true
They're still waiting for you...

Dreams of an Artemis

Why "Dreams of an Artemis"?

Several reasons made me choose this title for my first blog.

- First : "Artemis" - I have always liked greek and roman mythology, from this I got interested in the planetory systems and such as a kid. Amongst all the great mortals and gods of this mythology, the Lunar Goddess, Diana, Artemis, Phoebe, Selene, has been one of my favourites, and her love with the Mortal Prince Endymion seemed poetic and simply fabulous to my 9-year-old eyes.... I guess it left a mark in my mind after all these years ;)

- Second : I recently discovered the new blog of my favourite writer, Diana Gabaldon, which is called "Voyages of the Artemis", and the title seduced me at once, of course.... so yes, I guess you could say it's a reference to her blog. I hope it won't be considered as plain offensive copying if she ever stumbles upon this blog :/ (or worse, I wouldn't like any fans' wrath over this matter through heavy spamming....O_o)

- Lastly : Why "Dreams".... Diana Gabaldon is now famous, and her continuing work Outlander is now rivaled by her new projects, so we could say her literary career is a "Voyage" still going on. On the other hand, I just only recently took the courage to take time writing and let my impulse go free : I'm only at the beginning of my literary "career", which isn't one per say, since I'm not doing it as a professional or anything.... So I'll call my literary journey a succession of "Dreams" compared to her actual achievements. They're part of many readers' reality, and of course of her family and friends' lives, while mine is still only affecting Me, myself and I.... it's in my head....and my still few written texts.

Ahhh....as usual, I meant to write something short, and tons of lines lie there now, who in the world would read this bunch of blabbing? or maybe this is just for me alone for now ^__^ hehe, I don't know where this will go....

Is it really a good idea to post my writing here in the first place? I'm not really sure but I don't have English classes anymore, no teacher to correct or guide me, so if constructive remarks or encouragements can be gained through here, I have very little to lose :)

,.